Why I Am A Human Rights Activist, Rather Than A Feminist

When I was a teen to a young adult of about 25 years in age, I thought that I was a feminist because of the DV my mother said that she copped at the hands of my father, despite the abuse I copped at the hands of her. I believed her because I trusted her. I believed her because she brainwashed me into believing that she was the victim. I remember going to a number of DV shelters as a child because she claimed DV. She had lied about the whole thing. She had even taken my father to court on a number of occasions, to which my father had credible witnesses where he was at the times and date my mother had claimed he abused her. My father was not abusive towards her, nor my siblings and I. 

In fact, as I grew up and spent time with my father, he enlightened me as to what games my mother was playing. Not only was the information coming from him, but my stepmother, long after she had separated from my father. Who witnessed the abuse from my mother and saw the look in my eyes of despair. My mother even went as far as keeping me away from my father on his weekend because he was remarrying. The judge, when my father took her back to court, gave him the make-up visit on one of her weekends.

My relationship with my mother took a turning point at that stage. I realised that she and I will never have a mother daughter bond. That trauma has resulted in not knowing how to bond with my eldest daughter. I do hope to that in the future, my daughter and I will reconcile, she just needs to see her own wings fly at the moment. I am proud of my daughter despite the fact that she was raised by a broken mother, due to my mother breaking me. 

I realised that my mother was a liar and will do anything to keep her perfect image. The constant “what happens in these four walls, stays in these four walls” were uttered by my mother and her husband, meant that no matter what abuse happened I was never allowed to break free from this. I realised that my father went through some horrible things in dealing with my mother and being kept away from my siblings and I because she was a spiteful, hateful woman. I realised that there are many women like my mother, many men like my father and many children who are like me.

Unfortunately, I get told that my own lived experience is not real if I say that I am a child of parental alienation because these women do not believe that it is real, but only something abusers say in order to gain control of the situation.

This confliction that I witnessed has led me to a path of neither being a feminist nor that of a men's rights activist but that of a human's rights activist. I view men and women as, not opposing genders but the opposite ends of the gender spectrum. And feminism focuses on just women despite their catch cry of “equality”. The way that I see it, how can feminism be for equality, when the very name isn’t for being equal. Egalitarian is for being equal. That is where I sit. I once believed in feminism and had my own Red Pill moment when I was able to speak to the other side of my parents' divorce, my father. 

If equality in feminists' eyes were able to bestow pain upon fathers and children so readily, why would I want to believe in something like that. The way I see it, if I continued down the feminist ideology, I would be no different than the abused becoming the abuser. I understand the reasons for feminism, it just isn’t for today.

So, I speak out for all who need it, no matter who they are. If I see something that is upsetting women, I will write about it. If I see something upsetting men, I will say it. If there is something upsetting children, I will say it. If there is something upsetting, the neurodivergent community, or the LGBTQ+ community, or the BIPOC community, I will speak out.

The recent over turning of Roe V Wade has made it scary to live in majority of the United States. It is a sadness that is felt across the world.